the importance of a plan.

The importance of a plan.

 

Met up with this already drunk chick says she wants to ride down about a half an hour into the city and go out.  Immediately I thought, yeah, get her to drive then she can drink all she wants and I’ll sober up and drive her backs.

 

And see if I can finagle a little road head out of the deal.

 

And that’s pretty much exactly like it went down.  Crazy bitch did try to wreck us once.  I’m merging onto a major interstate and she hopes over in my lap like she’s gonna hump right there cruising down the interstate like in the Getaway with Charlie Sheen and super hot original Buffy.

 

Her foot goes on the brake as mine goes on the gas.  Right as I’m merging onto a major interstate.  It coulda got ugly but it was like three in the morning and there’s no traffic.  We woulda got pulled over fo’ sho’ if there’d a been a copper around.

 

But as it turns out.  We just argued a bit.  And it’s really stupid to argue with a drunk who has already head her mouth on your cock but then she got made because I made her not wreck us.

 

Really.  Does there always have to be some kind of drama?  Just suck it and get it over with.  You know you’re doing it.  I know you’re doing it.  Just fucking do it. And let’s not make a big deal.  Geez.

 

I should probably feel bad for just dropping her at her car and going home.  Nah.  She made it to the waffle house so I’m sure she’s fine.

gotta stop drinking

Dude, I gotta quit drinking. 

 

I’ve been kicked out of two of my favorite places to drink here recently.  And I’m starting to think it’s not just them being assholes.  Maybe the fact that I get staggering drunk might have something to do with it.

 

Oh, and then I drive.

 

Was so fucked up last night I forgot where I put my weed.  I took a nap in my car at the waffle house around two am.  Woke up and drove on home at three.  Went to work today with not a hangover, because I was still drunk.

 

What the fuck is that all about?

 

Then when I got home and showered and ready to settle in for the evening, I couldn’t find my pot.  I found my pipe.  But no weed.  I looked in my car.  In all my hiding spots but couldn’t find it.  probably still in my pants pocket.  Nope. 

 

In my gig bag?  In my shaving kit?  Gym bag? 

 

Couldn’t find that shit anywhere.  So I called up a dude to get this other dudes number.  I thought I might have left my little baggie of delight in his car where we were smoking in the waffle house parking lot.

 

I finally found it.  under my seat in the car.  Shoulda looked there earlier.  But whatever.

 

The weed ain’t the problem though.  I make better decisions when I’m stoned.  If I’m drunk I’ll spend all my money drinking.  When I’m stoned, I sit here and write my shit and play my bass.

 

I’d be a lot better off if I smoked instead of drank.  I’m pretty sure it’s the whole social aspect of drinking that I love.  I’m a social alcoholic.  I don’t drink at home very much.  Sometimes, but it’s rare compared to all the times I go out and drink.  Which has been a lot lately.

 

Fuck dude.  Knock it off.

sex in my SUV.

I am the great broken pecker.  And I had sex in my SUV tonight. 

 

And that’s a good thing.  I’ve been needing some sex.  And it’s hard to beat some sex in the SUV.

 

I met this girl the other night.  She picked me up.  Well, her black and pink thong jumping out the back of her pants picked me up. 

 

And it’s kinda like one of those one night stands that just don’t get completed.  You know what I’m saying?  I got all her info and all that.  Got the call at three AM to come over but I couldn’t.  drunk, asleep, she’s too old for this hour, whatever.  I didn’t go over and we both really wanted to fuck.

 

But you know how sometimes if you don’t just do it right then it gets all fucked up later?  Well it does with me sometimes.  We talked, hung out, smoked dope. 

 

We decided we weren’t what each other was looking for but we weren’t really sure what we were looking for, ya know.

 

I’m old at this point.  And I’m really feeling the urge to make some clones and she’s a little bit older than me and she’s done with raising kids.  She’s got one five year old, one fourteen year old and one seventeen year old.

 

She’s done.  And I don’t blame her.

 

But we both just really wanna do it.

 

So fuck it.  I met her out tonight for drinks.  We had a few.  I took her home via some old country road.  Found another small country road.  Pulled over and fucked. 

 

Good times, good times.

 

After I dropped her off I was feeling pretty good.  So I decided to go to the bar.  Just see if the girls could smell it on me.  thought maybe the smell of fresh chum might spark a feeding frenzy.

 

Well, it fucking worked.  I looked good, don’t get me wrong.  But I had left the gym, dried my hair and put on a hoodie when I went to meet this nice girl who fucked me in my SUV. 

 

She’s the tallest girl I’ve ever had in my SUV come to think of it.  I was worried she’d be too tall before we started.  But I think she knew what she was doing.  if I’m 6 foot…on a full moon, then this girl is all of five ten.  I’ve had five six, five seven in my truck, but five ten, first time.

 

Hell, that might be the tallest woman I’ve ever been with at all.  Close anyway….

 

So I’m at the bar, my underwear still soggy from the prior festivities, and I swear to god, it’s like chum in the water and the girls are sharks.

 

There’s barely a handful of them at the two shitty bars on my way home.  But they want it, man.

 

But come to think of it, they always act like that.

 

This one real tall girl I’d like to hook up with came stumbling into me after she smelled my funk.  It’s like she was drawn to me.

 

Yeah, that’s how I like to roll.  Dude, someone should come up with cologne that smells like musty sex.  That would sell.  Or is that Drakkar?

 

Oh, and the girl later at the waffle house just gave me some pecan pie.  Nice.