the importance of a plan.

The importance of a plan.

 

Met up with this already drunk chick says she wants to ride down about a half an hour into the city and go out.  Immediately I thought, yeah, get her to drive then she can drink all she wants and I’ll sober up and drive her backs.

 

And see if I can finagle a little road head out of the deal.

 

And that’s pretty much exactly like it went down.  Crazy bitch did try to wreck us once.  I’m merging onto a major interstate and she hopes over in my lap like she’s gonna hump right there cruising down the interstate like in the Getaway with Charlie Sheen and super hot original Buffy.

 

Her foot goes on the brake as mine goes on the gas.  Right as I’m merging onto a major interstate.  It coulda got ugly but it was like three in the morning and there’s no traffic.  We woulda got pulled over fo’ sho’ if there’d a been a copper around.

 

But as it turns out.  We just argued a bit.  And it’s really stupid to argue with a drunk who has already head her mouth on your cock but then she got made because I made her not wreck us.

 

Really.  Does there always have to be some kind of drama?  Just suck it and get it over with.  You know you’re doing it.  I know you’re doing it.  Just fucking do it. And let’s not make a big deal.  Geez.

 

I should probably feel bad for just dropping her at her car and going home.  Nah.  She made it to the waffle house so I’m sure she’s fine.

the cougar and her cub.

dear penthouse,

just like everyone else i thought this section of your magazine was a bunch of bullshit.  these kinds of things don’t happen.  that’s what i thought until it happened to me.

i’m not even sure where to start.  how about i started the friday with 24 beers and six condoms.  saturday morning i had three beers and two condoms.

i had been seeing this woman for about a month.  not really seeing her but knocking her boots every once and again.  and she’s a good lay no doubt.  really brings out the best in me.  i made her ovaries tingle one morning.  that’s good stuff.

anyway, it’s her birthday weekend and she invites me to camp out with her at this old rock quarry that’s been converted into a dive lake and recreation area.  and i figured there might be some other people out there partying and what not and i’d save a shit ton of money by going out there instead of going downtown.

as soon as i get there she’s ready to go to the tent.  and that was a little off putting to be honest.  there were several other people down there and at times i tend to be very sociable.  i like to mingle.

but at her command we go lay.

and lay her i did.  gave her two orgasms to my none when i decided it was time for me to join the party.  i told her she had to share me with everyone else because i’m really funny.

she’s not real happy about that.  she just wants to stay and fuck.  knowing that she wanted it so bad gave me some sense of empowerment.  i was feeling real good about myself at that point and i wanted to go be social.

besides, the girl who was hosting the party is a six foot red head with a killer body and she’s running around in a bikini. 

but before i go out to the party my cougar and i have a talk.  we talk about sex and how once i fuck someone else she wants to know about it and won’t fuck me anymore.

wait a minute here.  we decided this is just getting together and knocking boots.  no commitment or boyfriend girlfriend bullshit.  and that sounds a little bit like boyfriend girlfriend bullshit.  i mean, i understand wanting to know if i’m sleeping with someone other than her, but then she won’t fuck me anymore because of it?

sounds a little fishy to me.

but whatever.  so we go out and join the party.  it’s not a big party, just a few people.  there is a cute young girl who is flirting with me.  and i like that.  but my cougar didin’t like it at all.  the young girl asked us if we were married or dating or anything like that.  i said no, we were just fucking.

anyway, party goes on.  there is some swimming and stuff.  lots of beers, a little weed.  you know, good times in the outdoors.

a few of the people decide they are going to swim across the lake and some others decide they are going to drive across the lake and meet the swimmers and hang out over there for a bit.  i decide i’m going to ride with them across the lake.  my cougar doesn’t want to go.  she’s being very anti-social.  she just wants my cock.

and i’m in the mood to make her wait for it.  i already gave her two orgasms.  she should be alright until later.

so she just sits at the camp site while everyone else plays around the lake.  i was sufficiently drunk so i thought it would be a good idea to jump in the lake from a little jutting rock about ten or twelve feet above the water.  it was dark and it was fun.

we make our way back to the camp site where my cougar is asleep on a picnic table.  it’s at this point i should have taken her to bed and straight knocked the bottom out. 

but i was feeling good and wanted to hang out with everyone.  so she tires of waiting on me and heads to the tent by herself.

about ten minutes after she goes to the tent, her 19 year old daughter shows up.  and being the curteous person i am, i introduce myself.  i think she was asleep on her mothers couch one morning i was leaving and i had not actually met her yet. 

as soon as she realized who i was, the guy that was banging her mom, her eyes lit up and she started talking about skinny dipping.

we kind of separated from the group and did our own thing for a while.  we took the kanue across the lake to another beach and went skinny dipping.

to be honest, momma actually looks a little better than daughter.  she’s thinner and has a nice big set of fake boobies.  but this girl is 19.  which has an incredible allure.

no one has put moves on anyone yet, we are just talking and having a really good time.  and beers.  lots and lots of beers.

as we are taking the kanue back to the side of the lake where we started i suppose i turned the wrong way and capsized us.  yeah, i capsized the kanue.  but it’s her fault she had her phone with her.  some diver will find it eventually.  i think it’s somewhere around the sunken police car.

anyway, she doesn’t have any dry clothes anymore so as a gentleman i offer her my dry clothes i have as back up.  and i’m left with just a dry pair of black boxer briefs.

that’s a pretty picture.  me in my black boxer briefs hanging out with about ten people standing around a camp fire.  that’s hot.  the hottie is still in her bikini so it’s all good. 

a few beers later we decide it’s time for bed.  i’m walking sideways so she says she’ll drive my truck back to her mom’s campsite and i guess we would just crawl in the tent with my cougar. 

but she don’t stop at the campsite.  she drives up around the campsite and we park up on the hill.

it’s at this point i realize it’s full on.  we kiss a bit then she jumps out of the car and hops in the back seat.  it’s better back here she says.

okay.

i scored a mommy daughter exacta.  on the same day.  at the same place even.  and it seems multiple orgasms run in the family.

i should feel bad about it.  at least dirty.  and i probably shouldn’t have but how could i pass that up?  that’s like a sexual milestone few achieve.  i called all my buddies and they all call me thier hero.

i love that.  because i am my own hero, ya know.

i did screw up a really nice peice of ass by fucking her daughter.  but what the hell.