why i hate niggers.

i was minding my own damn business at the bar one night.  and this black gentleman starts talking to me.  i was hanging outside with this chick i didn’t know, but could easily tell was with the bartender this particular evening.  that’s cool, i ain’t gonna try and cock block this gentleman.  he bartends where i like to drink.

so i chat with this black gentleman.  i assume him to be with this shapely black woman when i see him come outside where i’m sitting.  the shapely black woman and this bra-less, thin, hard nippled woman i had just met spark up a conversation.

the conversation naturally moves to marijuana.  the gentleman says he can get us a dime bag if i’m driving.  and i’m buying him a beer.

it’s at this point i should have moved on with my evening.  but like the good hearted stoner i am, i say okay.  let’s ride and get some herb.  and i buy this gentleman a beer.

so, we get to this one cat’s place and we gotta drive him around the block so he can go pick it up.  says ole dude needs to sell at least a twenty bag.  but he’ll go in and see what he can do.  he comes back and said, he just gave me a twenty for ten bucks.  i got you a deal.

first, this ain’t no where near a twenty bag.  even the expensive ass weed i buy, this ain’t no twenty bag.  a fifteen bag at best.  but whatever.  these are strange black men i’ve never met before right in the middle of the damn ghetto.  it would take an ambulance too long to get here if i got shot or some crazy shit.  so i’m being cool.  i give this gentleman a pinch out of the bag.  all is good.

well, this crazy nigger that i’ve already bought two beers for and given a ride to pick up some weed that i’m paying for and going to smoke with him, ask me for five bucks so he can buy a bump off this cat.  a bump, as in a bump of cocaine.  blow.  powder.  booger sugar.

and i’m like fuck.  i’m stuck in the middle of the damn ghetto buying weed off this cat i never met with this other cat i’ve never met.  i’m done out twenty bucks for my dime bag, then i let you pinch off it.  and this other nigger is wanting five cash so he can get a bump.  fuck.

i really need a girlfriend.

so i give this guy five bucks.  and sit there and wait.  i figure if i give him twenty minutes and he’s not back, i can bail.  otherwise i told my man i’d wait for him, and he did get me some pretty decent herb.

he finally comes back and we make it down to the bar where i find out, indeed, that little skinny chick with the rock solid nipples is going home with the bartender.  but she gives me the look that said she wished i had been there for her to talk to.  before going home with the bartender, but i still got a look.

anyway, the chick he had shown up with split probably as soon as she saw him leave with me.  because i didn’t think that nigger was going to leave me alone all night.  this crazy bullshit he’s talking all night.  i’m your friend, he said.  cal, you good people.  i’m glad i met you.  all this crazy shit he’s talking.

he told me more than twice that he’s the kind of guy that if he’s got, his friends don’t go without.  he said if i saw you out cal and you said you was broke, and i had money, i’d just give ya some.  no questions ask.  you a good friend and i can tell.  and my friends don’t go without if i got.

all kinds of shit like that.  i just nod my head.  it’s like thanks for the herb man, but fuck dude.  leave me the fuck alone. 

and of course he ask me for some money ’cause he’s broke and he wouldn’t leave me without money if he had any.

nigger please. 

and that’s why i hate niggers.